Yes – there really is an “All or Nothing Day”! Is approaching your life in an all or nothing way productive? My thought is “no”. I often try to see both sides of an issue – however, I’m struggling to see the “YES” part of this question. (So if you are a proponent of All or Nothing Thinking – I urge you to post below!!)
Think back over the last few weeks, how often did you approach your day in a black or white, all or nothing manner? You know what I mean . . .
- “Oh well, I blew the diet today, I guess I’ll start over on Monday.” (or in January, or next week, or next month)
- “I just spent an hour searching my files for X, now the day is shot, I might as well reorganize my files.”
- “I just called 5 prospective hostesses and no one answered, so everyone must be busy – I’ll just make my calls on Monday.” (or in January, or next week, or next month)
At the first sign of adversity – we can fall into this “all or nothing” thinking.
But, if you spilled a little bit of ketchup on your new white shirt would you think, “Oh well, the shirt is ruined, I might as well dump the entire bottle of ketchup on myself”?
Or, if you have a flat tire, would you say, “Well, since one tire is flat, I’ll just let the air out of the other three”?
“Successful people are simply those with successful habits” – Brian Tracy
Successful people identify their priorities – and restart themselves if they get off track. They don’t allow themselves to go further and further down the winding road of unfocused, unimportant behavior.
- If they become distracted, they center themselves, refocus, and continue to work on their number one priority.
- If they book 10 parties, and they all cancel, they get back on the phone and book 20 more. (Plus they trouble shoot their technique . . . maybe it’s something they said, or didn’t say.)
- If they get to the end of the workday and realize they didn’t accomplish the #1 most important task on their list, they create a plan for tomorrow – guaranteeing they will accomplish it.
Very seldom can we create a day or a life that looks 100% the way we want it to. Things happen, people are unpredictable, situations arise. But one detour in our day does not need to lead to a full detour in our week. When you can remain focused on your priorities – you can pull yourself out of the “all or nothing” thinking when distractions and obstacles appear.
I’d love to know your thoughts. DO you believe there is a place for “all or nothing” thinking? I value the chance to enlarge my perspective.
I completely agree with you! I could never look at my day as an All or Nothing Day. I always create a list of things to do and work my way through them all one at a time. If I don’t do something, it goes onto the next day as a thing that has to be done. Great post!
Alexandria –
Thanks for your comment! I agree – I look at my list at the end of each day – and decide if the non-completed tasks 1) are still a priority and 2) how big of a priority. Usually, if it made the list on Monday – it’s still important on Tuesday . . . but sometimes it’s not AS important . . . and can go further down the list!
Lisa
All or nothing is dangerous and creates frozen people who can’t move forward. Can’t clean the whole house today? Then I won’t do the dishes either. So much better to break life into bite sized nuggets of accomplishments.
Esther –
I love you analogy!!! Perfect! I was just in a meeting with a client this morning – and we talked about creating action steps that she was guaranteed to accomplish! Small, easy to complete steps!
Thanks for stopping by!
Lisa
Lisa – Great post & thanks for pointing out what’s behind my feelings on those days where I’m just not that into it! That “all or nothing” thinking will stop you before you’ve even started. If you’re looking at a big to-do list & just can’t get moving, pick just 1 thing, take 1 small step. Before you know it, you’ll have some momentum going and can easily move on to the next thing. That all or nothing approach creates such a sense of overwhelm, then guilt & frustration when we aren’t making progress. It’s something I’ve recognized in myself & see so often in my clients. I’m with you – this is not an approach to increased productivity & efficiency!
Hi Kelly –
AGREED!!!! Usually the overwhelmed feeling comes from looking at the “big picture” without identifying “our first action” step. I often share with clients – if you have a stalled project, it’s one of two reasons. 1) The project really isn’t that important to you or 2) You haven’t identified your next “first step”.
Lisa
I used to have a LOT of all or nothing thinking (that one on breaking the diet was one of them) and yet it was an all or nothing thing, only certain topics or situations. One of things my clients count on me for is finding the next do-able step that is toward what they want (it may have taken some time to get clear on that) and then to celebrate that they took a step, now matter how tiny they perceive it to be because it is still…a…step.
I have a client from France that counts on my to listening to his ramblings and overwhelm and find just the right number of steps he can accomplish and I’ve learned that is the stopping point. If it goes to anything else, we’re back in the same cycle. In fact, if he gets onto something else, I get to say “nope, not happening right now!” Love doing that for him because he is such a creative powerful person.
And it’s a good thing I coach clients on this stuff because I sure need to remember it!
Many blessings
MamaRed
We learn best by doing MamaRed! So glad you can offer support for your client – and in return get the support you need to stay on track!!!
Lisa