Welcome, this week we are continuing our journey to a Stress Free Holiday Season. By starting early, having a plan, and following a plan, you set yourself up for success.
If you’ve missed previous posts –
- Week #1 – Mentally create the holiday of your dreams.
- Week #2 – List all the activities you currently participate in during the holidays.
- Week #3 – Categorize these activities – how much do you enjoy doing them?
- Week #4 – Break down each activity into the smallest possible next step.
Last week you broke down each activity (sending Christmas cards, baking cookies, decorating the tree, hosting out-of-town guests, . . .) into the absolute smallest steps. It’s possible that “Send Christmas Greetings” is actually a 10 step process!
Once you broke each activity down into the smallest possible action steps, you then assigned start and end dates for each task.
Lots of moving parts! No wonder it’s easy to start to feel stressed in November and December. We have more responsibilities in a compressed time frame – and we are also managing expectations.
Note: The last few posts I’ve encouraged you to delete some activities. This is another excellent time to look at your list – do you REALLY want to do everything on your list? Are you doing some activities because “it’s tradition”? If so, do the stakeholders in this “tradition” still feel the same way? Maybe they are no longer excited about cutting down a live Christmas tree. But they would be thrilled to make Hot Chocolate, look through old photos or videos (we all have Christmas videos!!) and reminisce.
[Tweet “You have my permission to create “new traditions” when you “outgrow” the old ones!”]
This week it’s time to take a look at your LENGTHY list of tasks you created last week and assign a person responsible for each task.
It’s time to start whittling down the tasks you are personally responsible for.
Delegate.
At my recent Ho Ho NO! Create a Stress Free Holiday Workshop, attendees generated the following delegating ideas.
- A woman in charge of providing Christmas Eve dinner for 40 family members decided to delegate out the cooking. Instead of cooking the entire meal, she provided the main course and is asking the other attendees to provide dessert and side dishes.
- John historically provided and wrapped gifts for all his siblings, nieces, nephews. They youngest “kid” is 35. This year they are having a gift exchange.
- Suzy hates to bake. She hired an aspiring chef home on break from Culinary Arts School to do all her baking. It’s a win-win, the chef-in-training will get additional experience and exposure, and Suzy will bring scrumptious desserts to all her gatherings.
- Laura dreads putting up (and taking down) decorations inside and outside the house. This year, she is inviting her grandkids to decorate the house completely and is providing cookies and hot chocolate. She realizes she is going to need to “let go” a bit of how the end result looks – but believes the tradeoff of having her family together . . . and not having to lug boxes around . . . will be worth it.
- Joan hates how her extended family treats each over around the holidays. She just wants to spend time with her husband and kids . . . without all the drama. She delegated much of the information gathering to her older kids. Where to go? What to do? Her 15 and 17 year old daughters presented 3 locations, and they voted. They are going to sunny Florida for the holidays this year – just the 6 of them. She also delegated informing the extended family of their decision to her husband!
- I received an email this morning from Lori, “Thanks Lisa for encouraging me to sit down with my family while planning the activities for this year. It turns out – everyone LOVES getting the live tree, attending midnight Mass, and ice-skating together. The other activities they didn’t really consider a priority. I thought they enjoyed creating handmade Christmas gifts. It turns out they don’t and neither do I! This activity gets deleted! This December will look much different, less hectic, and more “together time”. Thanks again for the push!”
Some of my favorite tips when delegating . . .
- Adjust your expectations. It is quite possible that no one can do the job exactly like you. That doesn’t mean it’s a “bad job”. The goal is to get some tasks off your plate – let go a bit on how the end result looks.
- Ask! Many times people want to help (even if they don’t realize it yet!) Give them the opportunity. Spouse, kids, neighbors, teens, grandkids are just a few ideas. Get creative – you can find help . . . you may just need to look at the challenge through new eyes.
- Hire a professional (or aspiring professional). Sometimes nothing beats hiring a professional cleaning service to get your ready before out-of-town guests.
- Clearly communicate your expectations and timeframe. It can certainly be frustrating to delegate a task, and then have the person on the other end drop the ball! Check back periodically (NOTE: I’m not advocating micromanaging!) to make sure the project is moving forward.
What activities can you delete or delegate on your list?
What resources can you use?
Who is waiting anxiously to be asked?
Or, do you still feel like you need to do everything?
Are you carrying around your “I’m so busy” as a badge of honor? “No one can do it as well as you, and it doesn’t matter if you feel stressed and overwhelmed as long as everyone else enjoys the holiday?”
Please, share! What are you going to do differently now that you read this post? What tasks do you really want to delegate – but you are stuck on who or how? Post below.
This week it’s time to take a look at your LENGTHY list of tasks you created last week and assign a person responsible for each task.
It’s time to start whittling down the tasks you are personally responsible for.
Delegate.
At my recent Ho Ho NO! Create a Stress Free Holiday Workshop, attendees generated the following delegating ideas.
- A woman in charge of providing Christmas Eve dinner for 40 family members decided to delegate out the cooking. Instead of cooking the entire meal, she provided the main course and is asking the other attendees to provide dessert and side dishes.
- John historically provided and wrapped gifts for all his siblings, nieces, nephews. They youngest “kid” is 35. This year they are having a gift exchange.
- Suzy hates to bake. She hired an aspiring chef home on break from Culinary Arts School to do all her baking. It’s a win-win, the chef-in-training will get additional experience and exposure, and Suzy will bring scrumptious desserts to all her gatherings.
- Laura dreads putting up (and taking down) decorations inside and outside the house. This year, she is inviting her grandkids to decorate the house completely and is providing cookies and hot chocolate. She realizes she is going to need to “let go” a bit of how the end result looks – but believes the tradeoff of having her family together . . . and not having to lug boxes around . . . will be worth it.
- Joan hates how her extended family treats each over around the holidays. She just wants to spend time with her husband and kids . . . without all the drama. She delegated much of the information gathering to her older kids. Where to go? What to do? Her 15 and 17 year old daughters presented 3 locations, and they voted. They are going to sunny Florida for the holidays this year – just the 6 of them. She also delegated informing the extended family of their decision to her husband!
- I received an email this morning from Lori, “Thanks Lisa for encouraging me to sit down with my family while planning the activities for this year. It turns out – everyone LOVES getting the live tree, attending midnight Mass, and ice-skating together. The other activities they didn’t really consider a priority. I thought they enjoyed creating handmade Christmas gifts. It turns out they don’t and neither do I! This activity gets deleted! This December will look much different, less hectic, and more “together time”. Thanks again for the push!”
Some of my favorite tips when delegating . . .
- Adjust your expectations. It is quite possible that no one can do the job exactly like you. That doesn’t mean it’s a “bad job”. The goal is to get some tasks off your plate – let go a bit on how the end result looks.
- Ask! Many times people want to help (even if they don’t realize it yet!) Give them the opportunity. Spouse, kids, neighbors, teens, grandkids are just a few ideas. Get creative – you can find help . . . you may just need to look at the challenge through new eyes.
- Hire a professional (or aspiring professional). Sometimes nothing beats hiring a professional cleaning service to get your ready before out-of-town guests.
- Clearly communicate your expectations and timeframe. It can certainly be frustrating to delegate a task, and then have the person on the other end drop the ball! Check back periodically (NOTE: I’m not advocating micromanaging!) to make sure the project is moving forward.
What activities can you delete or delegate on your list?
What resources can you use?
Who is waiting anxiously to be asked?
Or, do you still feel like you need to do everything?
Are you carrying around your “I’m so busy” as a badge of honor? “No one can do it as well as you, and it doesn’t matter if you feel stressed and overwhelmed as long as everyone else enjoys the holiday?”
Please, share! What are you going to do differently now that you read this post? What tasks do you really want to delegate – but you are stuck on who or how? Post below.
Hello Lisa. It’s a good idea to decide what you do and don’t like doing. We’ve really slimmed down our Christmas activities because we realise that having the family together is the most important thing for everyone. I like cooking certain traditional things and do that, while my brother also cooks things we all like. It certainly cuts out some of the stress. Robert
Robert –
I agree with you, being with family and close friends is the most important part of the holiday for me. The rest is just “stuff”. When I can focus on my priorities and the activities I enjoy, the stress disappears!
Thanks for the comment!
Lisa
wow this is extremely useful to me, I have 3 kids this year (my baby’s first xmas) I shall be using your techniques to navigate through it! xx
Candy –
Thrilled you found this helpful. This is the 5th in the series, so I encourage you to glance through the first 4, then stop back next week for the next one! :) Starting early is certainly a huge tip! Thanks for the comment!
Lisa
So glad to ‘meet’ you, Lisa – I am a lover of systems – and use similar approaches not just in business and helping others – but, as you’ve state here in what I do with my personal activities – Love step by step – great post! :)
Donna –
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! Thrilled to “meet” you also. A few more posts coming on this holiday theme . . . tends to be a time when people get very overwhelmed . .. be sure to stop back.
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
I made the decision several years ago that the holidays with family were just too stressful. We made the decision to schedule wonderful ski trips during this time and we could not be happier.
Rachel –
So glad you found what works for you! AWESOME!
Lisa
This is one of the most difficult things for me to do, most of my family and friends are always getting on me for trying to do it all. They usually tell me what they are gonna do to take the weight off of me. Even at work I have a difficult time with it thought I have too I do not feel as comfortable with it as I should.
Margaret –
I often share with my clients, delegating is a skill! It’s not something most of us are born being able to do. My advice – start with one. Take time this weekend to look at your task list (personal, holiday, business, etc.) and pick one item and can delegate. Just one! Best of luck!
Lisa
I don’t get involved in xmas, it’s too stressful. My partner and I spend the day how we want usually on the verandah with easy food, reading or watching the view, just a lazy day. No gifts no decorations. We catch up with family around xmas time but in an easy stressfree way.
Last year we went to a party, mid december. We had a ball. They had the secret santa game where you can steal the present up to three times, loads of fun, hoping to go again this year.
Lorelle –
I love Secret Santa where you can steal the gifts. We play this every year at my mom’s and at my sister-in-laws. More laughter and joy is generated during this 20 minutes – than any other time during the day. It’s so fun to see how some people want the biggest gift, others want the prettiest gift, others will fight to keep getting their gift back when it’s been stolen. Love it! Thanks for sharing!
Lisa
Excellent tips for you Lisa and the participants in the workshop, just great! This year I’ll be giving more opportunities to my daughters to help, also because they are now older and can take more responsibilities.
I have to learn how to persuade better so I actually get them on board to see it’s fun and do it ;)
Delia –
Effective “persuasion” is crucial. When you can convince someone to help you – and they think it was their idea – you know you’ve become the master delegator! :) Best of luck divvying up the workload this year!
Lisa
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