One of the greatest causes of stress for many of my clients is living up to their own expectations during the holidays. They try so hard to make the entire season perfect for their family and friends. They complete the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the cleaning, the decorating all while being the “hostess with the mostest” and juggling the everyday demands of family and career.
Over the next few months I’ll be creating a number of posts to help you take the stress out of the holidays. (And if thinking about the holidays this early is stressing you out – you can 1) remember that starting early will leave less work at “crunch time” or 2) bookmark this post and read in a few weeks.)
Note: Most of my clients celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years and I’ll reference these holidays. However, feel free to substitute different holidays if applicable.
The first step for taking the stress out of the holiday season is to envision your version of the perfect holiday. I encourage you to take the next week to really think about the following questions. Jot your answers down and revisit them often over the next few weeks.
- What does the perfect holiday look like?
- Who do I want to spend it with?
- What activities do I enjoy?
- If I only had two hours on Thanksgiving, how would I want to spend it?
- What is one thing I’m most looking forward to this Christmas?
- Where do I want to spend New Year’s Eve?
The temptation is to skip this step. It’s “only thinking” my clients will tell me. “I want to know how to streamline the process” others will say. “Give me the meat and potatoes” a recent client exclaimed.
My answer – knowing how you want to spend your holidays (or to use a principal from Stephen Covey – “Begin with the End in Mind”) is the foundation you need to start to create a holiday season you can enjoy.
What’s your favorite holiday tradition? When do you usually start planning for the holidays? When would you LIKE to start planning for the holidays? Please post below.
Lisa, those steps are a great idea for really focusing on what you want for the holidays. I instinctively do that. Funny huh? My holidays aren’t that stressful either. I have also learned to just downsize my expectations and activities. I have learned to say ‘no’. Those have helped a lot too. Thanks for the great ideas on what else to do.
Julie –
So glad you’ve already conquered this. So many of my clients rush so much – that they don’t even get to ENJOY!
Lisa
For me, I don’t really plan for the holidays. We do the same thing every year, so it’s predictable. Getting together, having some great food and catching up on things. It’s funny how this year has flown and looking forward to the rest of the year. Thanks for the reminder!
Nate –
Thanks for the comment! It sounds like you enjoy your holidays . . .. AWESOME! Some of my clients do the same thing every year – and don’t enjoy it! Tradition for the sake of tradition isn’t necessarily the way to go!
Lisa
Great idea Lisa. I never thought about planning out my ideas. Very excited that I came across your article. Thanks for sharing. Good tips, BTW.
Karl –
Thanks for the kudos! This is the first post of many, so I encourage you to return for additional ideas! :)
Lisa
Nice Lisa! I love the Holidays, however, as always I get stress out, this year I’ll be more because I have to order the kids gifts online, Germany is to expensive to buy toys, plus they do not have the things my kids might like. Thanks for your post.
Remy-
Take this week to decide what’s important . . . and whenever you start to get stressed out . . . revisit your “this is how I want the holidays to look” list. It helps – I promise. Best of luck finding the gifts you want!
Lisa
I’ve never hosted a holiday dinner, and I’m very thankful for that. I’m sure I’ll host one in the future, but for now I just enjoy going to someone else’s house for the holidays. :)
I like that you ask us to visualize the perfect holiday scenario because that is key to achieving what you want. I just need to keep visualizing an easy holiday season and I’ll be just fine.
The perfect holiday season is just being around friends and family, making new memories, and being surrounded by love.
Keri –
I’m betting the first time you host a holiday meal you’ll have content for quite a few posts! I know I did!!!! Visualization is key to stay true to what we believe in!
Lisa
Agree, there goes to planning again, I too believe if you decide with who and how you want to spend the holiday it will work out much better and I have been planning for he pass month and plan to keep it small with immediate family. No stress over here.
Margaret –
FABULOUS!!!!!!! If you can start with the end in mind it’s so much easier not to get caught up in all the hustle and bustle and just enjoy!
Lisa
The holidays are pretty simple for us now that the kids are grown and moved out and our place isn’t well suited for big family gatherings, but I sure could have used these tips in the past!
I especially love the reference to Stephen Covey. I often think if we applied the same principles to our personal lives as we do to our professional lives (and vice versa sometimes) life would go much more smoothly.
Janet –
You hit the nail on the head with the idea of applying our personal habit to business and vice versa. Imaging the planning that goes into creating the “perfect vacation” . . . wonder what that level of attention to detail could do to our business?!
Lisa
I usually have no problem reaching my goal if finishing decorating by December 1, but finishing all of my shopping by that same time NEVER happens anymore. You’re right though…envisioning is first step to success!
Samantha –
Envision success!! What needs to happen for your to enjoy your perfect holiday?
Lisa
Great great tips, Lisa! So happy to see your approach is for us to think what we want for ourselves regardless what we “should” or “must” do. We are celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend and we will be taking it really easy and relaxing as a family. No huge gathering and tons of food. The weather will be nice so we’ll spend lots of time outside to recharge after a busy week :)
Delia
Exactly!!!! If tons of food is important – then do that! If taking it easy and relaxing is important – then do that! I’m with you . . . the fewer commitments the better during the holidays!
Lisa
What struck me when reading your post is how one little word can be so culturally different. The word “holidays” in UK means vacation so I couldn’t help but read this as referring to how to plan the perfect vacation! As for Christmas (which is what we call the “holidays” – mainly I guess because we don’t have Thanksgiving) I honestly can’t bear the thought of it in October! I start planning in December and it’s not too stressful. I live in France (despite being English/Australian) and Christmlas is nothing like as commercial as in other parts of the world. Shops, houses, streets etc are decorated in December and not before so it’s not so overbearing as it can be elsewhere. Therefore less stress too I think.
Eva –
Ahh . . . wasn’t even aware of the cultural difference! Thanks so much for pointing it out! So many of my clients are overwhelmed by the festivities surrounding Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Day . . . that one of the ways I’ve found to reduce the stress is to start early. However, it seems you don’t have stress around this . . . so I can certainly see how starting early wouldn’t be beneficial – and could actually add overwhelm!!!
Lisa
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