“When we say YES to one thing, we say NO to something else.” How many times have you heard this time management quote? For years I believed I could say YES to everything, I just needed to be a “strategic scheduler”.
You know what I mean –
- if I wanted to attend a networking event at 8 am on Thursday and I had a committee meeting scheduled for 8 am on Thursday, I would adjust the time on the meeting
- if my vacation and a professional conference were both scheduled for the same weekend, I’d change my vacation
- if two projects for two different organizations had the same deadline, I would get up earlier so I could finish the work to meet my commitment
I REALLY believed I could say “Yes” to everything.
What I didn’t realize what that, though I was making everything “fit” into my schedule, by saying YES to everything, I was actually saying NO to me! To my priorities, my values, my goals, my dreams.
My physical health was no longer a priority. My family took a back seat. Plus, I felt frazzled all day, every day.
The reality is we each are given 24 hours each day. We each have our own unique priorities. We each have pretty full lives. When we add something else into our schedule – something is being pushed off. The challenge is recognizing what was pushed off – and deciding if that is the way you actually want to live.
[Tweet “When you say “yes” to everything, you say “no” to you!”]Before I add anything new to my schedule I determine if it is in line with my priorities, goals, values, and dreams.
Then I determine what task or activity is being subtracted from my schedule.
Networking is one of the areas that can be a trouble spot for me. One of my intentions is to be a well respected and successful businesswoman. Meeting and networking with interesting people, learning about their brilliance, and sharing mine with them is one way to live my life in line with this intention.
However, realistically, I could attend a different networking opportunity every day. So, early in my business I set some ground rules. I choose to limit my Committee and Board involvement, commitment to attend recurring networking opportunities, and active involvement in professional organizations.
This way, I’m saying YES to my priorities without saying NO to my life!
(image provided by Stuart Miles / Freedigitalphotos.net)
What about you? I’d love to know your thoughts regarding “when you say yes to one thing, you say no to another”.
Time management doesn’t mean fitting in more tasks, it means learning how to let go of as much as you possibly can. When you need to achieve long lasting changes you need a fresh perspective and an experienced coach.
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Great post. I tool have been prone to say yes even when I didn’t have time time/resources to complete the task. Steven Covey got me out of that habit
Thanks for the comment, Fred. I’m a big believer in “start with the end in mind”.
We pressure ourselves by making it an obligation to saying yes to everything. Then you wonder why you don’t have time to do anything. It might be hard in the beginning to say no however the more practice you get with saying no, the easier it gets. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and the worst is when you say yes to someone when your schedule is tight and you end up disappointing the person by not following through. Its time to honor yourself and honor your time by saying no more often :)
Agree Alecia! No one would ask us to pick up another obligation if we told them “I’m overcommitted, and I’ll help you out, but I’ll probably do a crappy job.” lol. My favorite “say no” phrase is, “If you need an answer right now, I’ll need to say no. However, if you can give me 24 hours, I might be able to.” This gives me the time to think about my current commitments without feeling under the gun. Thanks for the comment.
Hi – stopping by from the Facebook UBC group! This is fascinating, because I’m on the same wavelength here and posting on the same topic of prioritizing our priorities and balancing our priorities – just posted mine earlier! ;-) So I definitely agree with you, that saying no to one and yes to another is how we balance our priorities! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the comment! I’ll head over to check yours out! You know what they say about great minds lol!
When that happens, what I do is I prioritize. It’s a little hard to choose. But it needs to be done.
Thanks for stopping by, Gwenn. Prioritizing is key! We can’t do it all.
Lisa
Actually I am a “strategic scheduler”, but I started saying “no”. Now I still prone to say yes more than I would like to, but I am improving in prioritizing, I can’t take all on my shoulders!
Hi Clara!
I think it’s as important (or really MORE important) to be able to say NO than to say YES! Saying no allows you to focus on YOUR dreams instead of everyone else’s! thanks for the comment
Lisa
I really need to work on saying no to things. You are right, when I say yes all the time I am just saying no to things I want to do or even my family.
Absolutely! It is not easy . . . but certainly worthwhile! Thanks for the comment, Kristin.
Lisa – I think when you first start in business you can be afraid to ‘miss out on something’ particularly in the networking arena and many people find it tricky to say no.
I think I’m a bit older than you ;) and these days I take quite a selfish approach. If it doesn’t fit in with what I’m doing, it gets a thumbs down…Ah, one the joys of getting older!
Thanks for the comment, Caroline. I fell into the “networking trap”. Now I have a clear set of expectations before committing to attending networking events. To be effective for my current clients, I need to be well rested (mentally and physically) – and their needs always take precedent over the possibility of “new” clients.
So true, Lisa! I am still working on not saying YES and overcommitting myself, but I noticed that the simple act of being aware and stopping to reflect on what happens when I say YES helps a lot. I love this post, so much to learn from it :)
Thanks for your comment, Delia. I find that when we we “think before we leap” we can keep our schedule much truer to our priorities! Awareness is key!!
Saying no for me is easy, I know my capabilities and what I could do or not. However, sometimes we find our self in the commitment to say yes to things even though we know we can accomplish them. This is when we put on hold our priorities.
Hi Remy
thanks for commenting! The struggle between our priorities and someone else’s priorities is a tough place to be . . . especially because most of us want to be of service to others! I find I’m constantly reevaluating!
So true Lisa! I can really relate to this – “My physical health was no longer a priority. My family took a back seat. Plus, I felt frazzled all day, every day.” I have learned to evaluate things before I commit and now realize that it’s ok to say no.
Sue
Life certainly is a journey isn’t it! The key for me is to consistently evaluate my schedule . . . to keep “old habits” from creeping back! Thanks for your comment!
Lisa